So I got to thinking about a post someone made yesterday about wanting to see in themselves what others see. I have worked pretty hard over time to learn my best to ignore little inner issues with myself. I am not sure if its because I’ve always been heavy, but the size of my body, though it does effect my self image negatively, does not drive me as crazy as my face. I’ve come to accept that I have and always will have stretch marks, scars, and wobbly bits. However, I think it may be that I know with hard work, I can change my weight and clothing size which is really all I ever wanted. You can’t change your face without plastic surgery. So that said here are the issues with my face as I see them:

• One entire side of my face is different from the other. One eye opens wider, one nostril is completely different shape than the other, one side of my lip has a different shape and arch as well as my eyebrows.
• I have combination skin which means a desert on my forehead and blemishes on my chin and nose
• my cheeks have red blotchy issues as well as being a bit bumpy
• I have no lips
• I have an ugly smile
• I was never able to get braces and thus my teeth are a nightmare
• double chin
• huge, upturned nose (which gives me a gross profile)
• mustache much?

After years of working on it, I have come to realize that it’s me and my self image that’s creating these issues and this is what I’ve learned:

• most people arnt congruent
• no one has perfectly shaped eyebrows
• my nose fits my face
• a double chin will fade as my body fat does
• no, I don’t have lips, and I can’t wear lipstick, but I’ve got decent shaped blue eyes so that makes it pretty even
• combination skin is a nightmare, but it can be well controlled if I pony up the cash for really good products and though I get blemishes on my chin mostly I should be thankful I don’t get em all over
• most girls have mustaches, fact of life…thats what waxing is for.
• my teeth are messed up, there is no illusion with that, but its never too late to get braces!

Moral of the story I guess is that I’m the only person that spots most of these things. All those issues with my looks is from a lifetime of picking myself apart and comparing myself to someone I am not. The truth is everyone is beautiful in their own way. Some people are photogenic and some people have the kind of beauty that moves. Different people have different ideas of beauty and no matter how gorgeous you are someone out there is gonna feel differently and vice verse.