Foiled Again!

So, my plan yesterday was all about being determined to stay on course for an entire week. All went well till my mother broughtChinese food. Noooooooooooo! My current Achilles heal! So……that didn’t go over so well.

Today then I begin again! One week on track, I’m gonna do it! Throughout the day I just keep trying to remember what it felt like when I was healthier. The confidence I used to have (even then wasn’t amazing, but compared to now, my god!) and the fun I used to have. One thing I don’t think I’ve mentioned on this blog is that when I gained weight I didn’t buy new clothes. I literally have one shirt, one dress (both black), and a pair of jeans that don’t fit right at all. I purposely found / look for jobs that require uniform. So as you can imagine I don’t go out much at all. Somewhere inside I felt/feel like if I buy larger sizes then I’m giving in and committing to this size so as incentive I have refused to buy clothes. The struggle has been a lot longer than I thought and it has now been three years. Three fricken years!! I mean…..holy pigshit batman!

So thats what I’ve been telling myself all day, is to remember what I can be and that I’m more than capable to be there again and even better if I want.